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Difference Between Love and Obsession

chemical-basis-love-300Love vs Obsession

Love is a feeling from the heart, and obsession can be termed as a crazy feeling. Though love and obsession are related in some aspects, the two can never be thought to be the same.

Love is a feeling that is uncontrollable, and a feeling which one has for another person. Love always means caring, supportive and giving. On the other hand, obsession is only a crazy idea where a person cannot think in an affectionate manner.

Love is a feeling when a person wants the best for the one he loves, and always wants them to be happy, even if they are not part of his life. On the other hand, obsession is a crazy feeling where the person wants the other to be his or her’s only. An obsessed person always thinks of having the beloved one on his or her side all day.

One may give more importance to the other’s needs when in love. For the person who is in love, the other’s needs are given prominence. Whereas, an obsessed person gives more importance to his or her needs. Love is something that makes one feel good. Obsession makes one look like an idiot.

It can be said that love has no limits or boundaries. In love, there is complete freedom. Well, obsession is something that has its own limitations, and it is a condition where one feels like they have no freedom.

Obsession is also shrouded with jealousy. On the other hand, love is always pure, and it is the understanding between individuals. Persons who are in love, trust each other blindly. On the contrary, an obsessive person will always want to know every detail about the other person. This only means that an obsessive relationship lacks trust.


1. Love always means caring, supportive and giving. Obsession is only a crazy idea where a person cannot think in an affectionate manner.

2. One may give more importance to the other’s needs when in love. Whereas, an obsessed person gives more importance to his or her needs.

3. Love has no limits or boundaries, and there is complete freedom. Well, obsession is something that has its own limitations, and it is a condition where one feels like they have no freedom.

4. Obsession is also shrouded with jealousy. Love is always pure, and it is the understanding between individuals.

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  1. Well I don’t completely agree with the post. Everyone
    In a relationship wants the other person to be his or her
    Only plus everyone is dgona get really upset and not let
    Go of someone they love and try their best to make things
    Work out. and I also think its normal to think about
    One person all the time when u get into a relationship
    Because you are attracted and u wana hangout all the
    Time but it fades with time

    • @ Angela. Of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion. However, I don’t think this post is related to someone who is quite nearly in a new relationship. This is posted for those who need information about the relationship they’ve been in for some time. Of course you want to be with someone in the beginning all the time, that’s the time you have to get to know someone. But, when you’ve been with someone for a while and notice awkward behavior, that’s when this information is crucial . True love doesn’t fade with time, it only gets stronger with hard work and dedication. The information provided in this article is true and accurate, to a fault. I am married to a loving man who, unfortunately, has gone through this situation. Trial and error have made us stronger. Through reading this article together, we have the understanding and the knowledge of the difference between love and obsession.

      • I am seriously in love with this one girl but she moved on with this other guy shes seeing but I dont wanna let go of the precious times we had when i told her i love her, when we kissed, when i told her i’ll always be there for her and she felt the same way for me as well but im just in need of help, can someone please help me how to win her back?

        • Etan please inbox me I need to have a confidential chat with you. Thanks

        • Send a message to me on my E-mail

        • You are derailing psychologically bro. I want to use this question to answer you. Can you buy an iphone 13 as an average income earner and throw it to the gutters to pick up a non GPRS enabled phone? If you see yourself as valuable as an iphone compared to a non Gprs enabled phone, then that lady does not know your value and does not deserve you. Kill the feelings,i mean allow your feelings to die,the feeling is not sustainable. She does not know your value,someone more beautiful and wise will see your worth and treat you like a king.

      • Thank you Katherine. This is so true.

      • Exactly, I been in my relationship going on two years I wanted to be near him all the time but just withing the last two months he decided he lives me and if I’m not by his side I have to be on video with him literally all day and night or he Tripps out and I mean it’s weird idk man I don’t think it’s gonna work like this I’m starting to feel scared he says he don’t want to ever be without me and if I hang up he says I’m killing him and hurting him it’s strange

    • I agree with u to totally but the end part that the love should grow or fight to keep it together but some people change & can fall out of love. The risk we take can be scary not knowing when the other partner will want to give up,walk away, or end up cheating..

  2. I agree with the previous person- Angela. I think when you’re in love with a person, you obviously want them to be next to you as much as possible. But then in the other hand, the examples they gived for obsession sounds soo true!!…
    damn, Im in trouble!…hehehehe…oh well…eff it!

  3. This one is for Etan. I know you want her back but let it go. If she is in another relationship, she is telling you she has moved on with her life living it up and you need to do the same. Life is to short to run behind someone that has moved on with theirs. It’s okay to date and get your life back in order or just take some time for Etan. Think about what went wrong with the relationship and be watchful in the next. The next time you fall head over heels in love with someone you will be ready. Love is kind, gentle, and humbling.

  4. is love forgiving?

  5. Hi ,

    I have been in a distance relationship for almost 2 years. we met couple of times and spent good time together.

    we mate with plan to get married and we started our relationship on that manner. First she was very much into me, we had many times some arguments on each other doings on common ground.

    She showed me from the starting of relationship is – She is naive and doesn’t understand the outer world very correctly and gave me right to show her difference in right and wrong things.

    Due to the distance ( 13000 KM) we hardly could understand each other prospective and faught over it. I considered it as Distance and thought it will be okay when we wil be together.

    She showed too much love to me in beginning of relationship , so much respect and trust but slowly slowly it went..

    in Oct , 2013 , I had an accident while (I was thinking for her and make this relationship work out and dealing with her in more loveable way) next day I didn’t tell her that I was injured, I called her to speak her as I was very concerned for her as she was outing with her friends in one of the most unsafe city for Girls in World, she did not pick up my phone so I called her friends mobile to know if all okay. I showed my anger on her that she should be concern about calls. We had a fight on this. and after that she stopped talking to me and disconnected me from everything.

    I tried to reach her to explain that I was just concern for your safety and since I got head enjury on that day, I was not in stable condition as my head was spinning on each bad thought.

    Anyways she didnt realize it and thought I was making a story. I kept writting her emails sending cards etc for 1 months.

    Meanwhile I was also preparing my new home for her. I thought she is angry and eventually one day understand my LOVE to her ( what she always have been seeking in me)

    in November, 2013, I decided to go to meet her I flew all the way to 13000 KM to meet her at city.

    The first time she knew that I am in the city she didnt meet me.
    Her friends advised me to meet her after 5 days, Second time I again tried to meet her, this time she mate me. but she was very cold and was reacting in a manner that she doesnt know me.

    I stayed with her for 4 days. sorted out all the things we promissed each other that we wil not get apart but I have to meet her parents to convey them.

    Third time , I again went to her city to meet her parents. and convinced them for marriage.

    we decided that from now we wil understand each other more. and promised for it. After settling all I came back to my place.

    On 31st Dec night , I asked her to skype with me at 12. she told me that she already made some plans with friends so I didnt insist her. but I felt bad about it.

    after that there were some incidents happened that I felt she is not taking me imp or taking me for granted (like speding time with friends, shopping, sleep etc )even though we were planning to get married in 2 months)

    After seeing repetitive her behaviour, I couldnot control on myself and yelled on her to ask her why she is doing that way.
    she replied me that she does not see any of her fault in all cases.

    After that she again stopped talking to me and blocked me from eveyr where even though I sent her sorry message and called twice.

    No my question is — what is this – LOVE or Obsession?
    I started doing all the things what she always wanted from me.and now I am doing everything to save my relationship, she is taking very roughly.

    I am unable to understand that how some one be so insensitive and irresponsible about relationship who breaks the relationship in every kind of fight ?

    I am really in bad phase, advise me.


    • This is obsession, healthy love is not that demanding and focused on rules and feelings. Some times the world doesn’t work in black and white manner. Sometimes, for true love you have to rewrite the rules. Let her be and if u stop forcing her to do certain things and be certain way, she will come around. Just be patient.

      • I think the main issue here is when you are in love with someone that doesn’t equally love you back with the same energy. Or someone that showed love initially but later apparently showing signs that he or she doesn’t love again. Or a situation where one person is trying to walk the talk but the other pays a lip service to earlier agreement. Or in some other situation the other person is manipulative and takes advantage of the love of the other.

        Love is an uncontrollable feeling. And we don’t all love at the same vibe or energy. Infact in many relationship one person tend to love more.

        For me the dividing line is this- when it’s becoming more and more that someone doesn’t love you like they appeared initially then don’t relate with the same vibe again. Don’t waste your love on someone who doesn’t care. Such will lead to obsession.
        You are not wrong to have fallen in love or love someone else deeply but you are so wrong to have fallen in love with the wrong person. How beautiful is the feeling of love between 2 people who vibe with the same energy. But this is a bit rare in our world.

    • I am also in your same situation but as for me I was there for him in every of his problems.. Financially physically..i was even there for him when his own parents dint help him.. I gave up my everything for him.. I took money for him to almost all my friends to help him it almost reached lakh. I even ended up loosing my job cos of him I was humiliated in front of my Co workers cos of him… He cheated me he asked me to take money from my friends imotionally blackmailing me to spent that money on his so called gf. He said the girl did not love her and think him as a friend but they even make love.
      But they were not in relation and he cheated the girl too saying he is single. I did not blame the girl at first I pleaded him to be with me but later on after I learnt that he is not for me I tried to move on but he again came back to me after 3 months of breakup saying he wants to be with me and that he was sorry.as I still love him I accepted but as time goes by I came to know he still loves him and m not sure if he lives me he finds every excuse to b away from me but he refused to breakup with me and still hold on to me… So we used to have a fight regarding this.. He used to share his feelings to his friend saying which he never do and which I never acted so his words haunts me a lot so I used to argue and we used to fight a lot.
      My question is m I wrong to argue him and stop talking about me which I nvr did to his female friends.. Is this still an obsession?? I really wanted to know.

      • I think you are in love with and have invested so much in a manipulative person who is now taking advantage of you.
        Action speaks louder than voice. It’s what he does that matters not what he says. Love is not just in words but action.
        You are not obsessive you have only shown more love but the error is that you have loved the wrong person.
        If you continue to love this person who cheats on you and treats you badly and is now manipulating you then the tendency is towards obsession because you will keep thinking that you need to do more to get him.
        I think it’s at that point you need to draw the line.

  6. i like the manner in which the differences are written, i clearly understood the concept between love and obsession thank you.

    • But this love and obsession differnce just destroyed the new getting in relationship .ovioulsy i love her and want her to be mines only but didn’t knw how to explain things..

      • It’s not wrong to wanna be with someone you love but obsession is when you’re always demanding, controlling and being unnecessarily possessive which most of the times leads to abuse and voilence.

  7. That means my relationship is obsessions all this years,because am very jealous, and want her by my side all the time,,is that it??

  8. This helped me to see my relationship in a clearer light. My partner wants to place rules on me and he cyber stalks me. He refuses to stop because he thinks I am cheating. In the beginning of our relationship I did look on dating apps because I felt slighted since he is still married, but seperated. I was wrong to look… we talked about it and moved forward. Years later he is still calling me a cheater and lier (hes still married) but says because I looked he must continue to cyber stalk me.

  9. Am in love with her real but shes not wanting me again .. I feel like death is here

    • You have fallen in love with the wrong person. Now she doesn’t want you.

      Will you want to be with someone you love so much but who doesn’t love you or care about you?
      You need to draw the line here else it will be interpreted as obsession.
      She is just one girl among billion girls on the planet.

  10. Hi i am in a 5 year old relationship
    And from what i red i think i am obsessed, because i always want to know his whereabouts and i want him to spend a lot of time with me we constantly fighting these days and i can tell his tired please help

  11. Sometimes a night I dream about this person I have a crush on is it love?

  12. I need some advice I’ve been with a girl for the past 5 years we’ve never hard sex she’s a virgin however I would give my all to her now it’s been so long I want to go to the next level but she keep on saying she’s not ready however she is a virgin I don’t know if she is using me or she’s really interested sometimes I want to move on but I feel it hard to because whenever I’m with anyone else I keep thinking about her

  13. Well I’ve been in a relationship with this guy since 2011 and I was still young by then. In 2014 we broke up and we both moved on but each time we meet, we could resist each other. So last year we decided to give us another chance because even if we are apart we still miss each other so we did but then he is engaged to someone else and they have a child together. Since I love him, I accepted that I will be his second lover and we( me and him only)even concluded that he can marry us both since he loves me and I also love him. But when something is bothering me i am afraid to tell him because I think he might leave me. Both him and his fiance are educated and very successful while I on the other hand is still studying. I feel like he loves me less because of my career status and I always sacrifice my happiness to avoid fighting with him. We see each other maybe three times a year and in most cases we communicate over the phone. I’m always scared that he will break up with me even when he promised me he won’t and I feel so empty without him. Is this love or obsession, if it’s love how do I let him know how I feel without offending him and if it’s obsession how do I let him go. Please help

    • Hmmmm
      Am a single mom. And after everything dat happens in my last relationship before i had my bby,ever since Ave been dating i have never dated someone for so long,the maximum is 6months

      I realized i easily give up in all my relationship and always want my spouse all to myself

      Always wanting to be around him…even if it takes me to leave anything am doing at d moment nd be wit him

      Could this be a real love or obsession. Pls i rilly need to kwn

  14. I mean we couldn’t resist each other

  15. Hello, I am 20 and I met a woman who is 28, at first I was scared to tell her because of the age difference, but later I did, and I felt she embarrassed me, I was happy and I was really happy, I wanted no one else, I wanted her.
    I have many flaws of being happy with her especial to the fact that I know she had three kids and I wanted her not to spend for me, I want to find a way to make money for myself while she looks after the children
    I never saw the children as a problem, I have never met them, but to be honest, I have a love for the children, I was always scared that she may find someone else someday, and also know the rate of fake profiles on the interest, when a fake profile come to her, u ask her to block them. I guess she starts to feel I am too protective of her, to be honest, I just could see her get hurt for a relationship that would end with the reason of money, I protected her.
    The relationship was going well and sound.
    Soon I notice we are having a problem a situation where the love wasn’t returning, I tried to fix it every way I can,
    And soon she told me she was seeking someone, my God, I understand she met someone her age, we been in a relationship for almost 5 months and the last two month we been quarreling, and now she just told me she been seen someone that she doesn’t love me, but she really likes me.
    I find it hard to let her go because I still love her, I keep begging her, I ask her to give me a chance, I know I will show her more love than anyone else can show her, I am 20, I am very protective, I don’t see what wrong with that.
    But her mind is made up, I text her so everything, it annoying I know,
    And now I can’t even tell if I love her or I am obsessed with her.
    I still want her, I beg the universe to give us a chance, but one one is listening.
    Am I obsessed or in love. It not easy because I think I am feeling sick

    • You are obviously obsessed with her. You are still young and you have lots of years ahead of you to find love and happiness. Let her go and move on.

  16. Want to spend time with him any time less busy. Is it obsession or love?

  17. How about ur partner always monitoring your phone and have possessions of all ur social media’s but you don’t even have password to his phone…he beats you up and thinks he is always right..he doesn’t want you to talk to other people and always wants you to be around…. Please is this love or obsession

  18. It been two year of me having a relationship with a guy but i found out the he love me but dont want me to be in his future.. so i really want to let him go but i dont know how.. the guy ive been with us so close in our church.. we live together in same village.. we been helping each other in church activity.. and it a rule of our church to be there in many thing we did in our church and from that i don’t know how to let Him go an also the feeling of me loving him if i have to see him everyday

  19. Well,after reading the post I realize that my partner is really obsessed by me. I have no freedom, I only do what he wants,extreme jealously, etc. And if I try to end the relationship, he becomes violent. What can I do?

  20. Most of the answers about obsession actually everything is what makes love strong except where one doesn’t have freedom. To me being with someone I love all day is one the beautiful things I do enjoy, thinking about her and wanting her to be mine alone even after being together for almost two years now. It’s the only thing I pray for and really need. Obsession is bad on the lasck of trust and freedom otherwise the remaining points are much better if you were to include them as part of being in love

  21. My Boyfriend wrote me while In jail and said “when he cannot talk to me it’s like Torture” he thinks about me 24/7. I know he’s obsessed and not in love with me. He once very nonchalantly while having a normal conversation said “I cannot get close enough to you I need to eat you to be close” he said this as if it was normal. I love him and am in love and not sure what to do. This person stalked and followed me for eight months before
    I met him and even knew who he was.

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