Difference Between Similar Terms and Objects

Difference Between Loving and Being in Love

Loving vs Being in Love

Love is a strong feeling of affection or attraction to somebody accompanied by a sense of liking, desire, and longing. With such an abstract experience such as love, people are wondering if there’s a difference between “being in love” and “loving” someone. The answer is, in fact, there are many differences between the two. However, most of them are subjective.

“Being in love” is like a slightly altered state. In such a condition, your focus shifts from yourself to the person you fell in love with. It will be as if you cannot live a day without that person. You eagerly want or need them to become part of your life. As such, you already start looking ahead to a future you’d want to share with him or her.

Moreover, “being in love” means that you are already looking at what you can do together with your partner because you have become lovestruck. Although some would say that the initial stage of being in love is mostly infatuation, some will still argue that it is a state wherein you’re being smitten, taken with, and besotted. To say that “being in love” is not “infatuation” requires that you base your love for someone on the grounds of: compassion, compromise, respect, and dependability. Nonetheless, either in good or in bad times, “being in love” means sharing both times together.

On the other hand, “loving” is more concerned about the things or steps you do. One of the most common things done when loving someone is encouraging that person to do the best things and choose the best choices because you only want what’s best for him or her. As a matter of fact, when you are in the stage of loving, you actually want to do anything for their sake. It’s as if you’re trying to please them genuinely because you don’t want to become a disappointment for them.

Another thing that separates “being in love” and “loving” is that the former usually happens first then the other. You will not continue loving someone if you’re actually not “in love” or not in the state of “being in love.” As such, being in love is naturally the first part of the relationship. In the long run, most especially while being married, loving is more of the ethical, moral, conjugal, and eternal responsibility that you do to make that marriage successful. You cannot live with your partner by just “being in love.” You should both practice “loving” each other for the relationship to grow each day.


1.“Being in love” is more like a personal state of being altered by the emotions or feelings of love.
2.“Loving” is more of the things or steps you do for someone.
3.“Being in love” usually happens first in a relationship as compared to “loving.”
4.“Loving” is like the moral or conjugal obligation that partners must do for each other during marriage.

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1 Comment

  1. The sentence above: “Love is a strong feeling of affection or attraction to somebody accompanied by a sense of liking, desire, and longing.” – To me, Love is NOT “attraction, desire, and longing”.

    I have another view of what love all about. In fact, love, to me, does NOT attract, desire or long for anyone. Love has NO need for all of these!

    “Being in love”, to me, means possessing, owning you. Love is NOT being possessive or EXclusive, but INclusive and has no ownership.

    “Falling in love” leads you to a fall and mental & emotional suffering. In love, there is no suffering or falling, but RISING. Shouldn’t we RISE IN LOVE rather than FALL in love?
    _ _ _ _ _
    Ross Galán, Ph. D.
    NLP Spiritual Life Coach

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